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oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive

It is when we deceive ourselves. NO of course not, we don’t set out with the intention of deceiving, but often it begins with a little “white” lie, and then, out of the blue one day, we find ourselves dealing with a situation that is totally so not what we were expecting or wanting. It is the little habits, the small acts that we do on a regular basis, we do them without even thinking, they become just “something we do”

Over the years, I’ve spent hours reading, taking in information that was of interest to me, I learned how to meditate the TM way (Transcendental Meditation) I learned about and tried Yoga, Pilates, joined and went to a gym to use their equipment, even tried a personal trainer a few times.. Nothing stuck. Yet every new piece of information I took in (what communicated itself to me) was stored, and when doing a mental exercise often these little tidbits would factor into my final decision to do or try something new.

One day in the dead of winter when I was driving one of the backroads to get to “my birds” I thought to myself, “What am I doing” I remember there was only one other set of tracks on the road, and already they were almost covered by the still falling snow. Heavily burdened branches were bowed with the wet sow that clung to them, some almost touching the roof of my cat. I had no choice but to to go very slowly, and be totally focused on my actions. When I got to the parking lot and the car was parked, I sat back and just relaxed in a wonderful glorious moment of awareness, I was happy, I was thrilled, I was content.

I sat in my car, totally still, watched the big snowflakes land and slide down my windows.. they were still warm from the heated interior. It was a moment of pure bliss. I was so aware of myself, the moment, my surroundings.. Then the calls filtered in to me, the birds knew I was arrived… There was a flurry of action around the almost empty feeders.

I have always enjoyed the winter, but not like I did during the past winter when every day I went out into the day and began spending time with the birds and other woodland animals who came to call when I was there.

Its not the same in the summer, the summer months produce a totally different vibe. My daily routine in the fall and winter .. was and is different. Spring and summer months I’m not able to capture the same “stillness” My “habits” I acquired over the late summer, fall and winter months, were not harmonious with the spring months, nor in this season called summer.

Once again, I’m reminded that the only thing in life that is constant, is change. These past 3, 4 weeks I’ve been deceiving myself, yes I do enjoy some of the “adventures” but if I’m honest with my “self”.. I’m not having the same kind of “satisfaction” with my visit to the woodlands, certainly not, journeying into them.. Today’s calendar..

Have a “Let’s do it” attitude. Even if a task is difficult keep in mind it is given by God and accomplish it.

Perfect Liberty 2021.14

Gonna have to work on this one, give it more thought. I think I’ll go with the flow. I went out earlier to find that it is a wet drizzle, with spurts of downpouring. Guess its time to dig out my rain boots, and make sure my rain jacket is handy. I’ll find a place to walk where there is a more open trail.

optimistic and positive!

Comments on: "Wednesday" (6)

  1. Nicholas Vrtis said:

    Waves a friendly hello. Oh wait.. you weren’t waving at me, you were swatting at the mosquitoes!. Well, hello anyway. The summer is for the city. A coffee shop on a busy sidewalk. Sit and people watch. Make up stories about them and their lives. Relax and just LOOK at them.

    • I’m not much good at that.. sitting in a restaurant /coffee shop etc. unless there is good company to share time with.. I’m headed out to walk in the rain. sends love and HUGS

      • Nicholas Vrtis said:

        Well, “IN” is not the same as outside. And you aren’t there for the coffee (or wine, or beer, or pop), that is just a prop so they don’t kick you out. As a bonus, there is usually fewer bugs.

        If you “look” at the city and the people passing by, the way you “look” at the birds and the woods. We can get caught up in the “there are just a bunch of cars and stop lights and pedestrians between here and where I want to go”. But.. I’ll be quiet now.

  2. What a rewarding trip

    • it was Derrick, so much so.. that for the first time ever.. I am looking forward to the coming seasons. sends happy vibes your way..

  3. I love that you are so aware of yourself and feelings, and honor them. The ‘vibe’ is totally different in the woods in spring and summer, when most critters are in reproductive mode, keen on successfully rearing the next generation. There are all the bird migrants, too, adding to the cacophony. Of course, the bugs are the reason many of those birds come north… good news/bad news! I’m sure you will find new walking spots that give you pleasure, not too crowded, but wild enough to let you connect to nature. Keep looking! I look forward to seeing what you find. πŸ™‚

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