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death and dying

For me, mixed media 4.18.17

I was chatting with friend the other day,  since cancer is now factored into my life, we were discussing how people react to the word. It was interesting to note, that when I said that cancer was much like being told you are diabetic.  She did not agree.  Her reasoning was that cancer usually  meant death.  I understood that she felt that being diabetic your chances were much better. Diabetes is known as the silent killer.

We are born to die.  Death is something we all face.  A perfectly healthy person, can drop dead without warning.  Perhaps they were borderline.. high blood pressure, maybe it was cholesterol, or like my husband, out of nowhere, after living a lifetime with his heart, and never having a problem,  he was told, he  had an irregular heart beat and it was problamatic to his cancer treatments ?

I fail to see why cancer gets top billing, and why because someone gets the cancer card, it is deemed gloom and doom.  Sure there are difficult times, but someone with a gall bladder issue, will be driven almost insane with the pain that they endure till something is done about it.  A kidney stone,  is not a joking matter either.  And ladies, how about that 9th month party of labour pain and the utter joy of the delivery room.

Cancer is a wicked surprise, and it is a challenge, however, we still go to bed each night and wake every morning.  How we choose to make use of our time while we are awake and greeting the day, is our choice.  The love of life, and the understanding that this is not the time to squander our moments, means that life is full.  Love continues to grow and shine it’s light into our activities.

There is an appreciation of the blessings that we have been able to share, and continue to share.

There is no escaping death, whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, we are alive, and we will continue to live until the day/night comes when we go beyond what is here and now.  Then, we will be forever/always.

No more, no less.




today 1.7.18

violetGood Morning everyone…

I am working on a new project, this is how far I’ve progressed since the other day.  Working with the medium I am using I prefer to let the layers dry before I move on to other layers.

Plus the layer I am working on might have to be done in stages since it is  “come as you are” inspiration.  Meaning, I work on it when I am “feeling it”  Some projects get finished others do not.  Simple fact.  I long ago learned that I am happiest living in the moment.  I am not a planner in the sense that I map out what I will  do next fall, or next year.

As it turns out this has become a blessing for me.  My husband having been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, we live each day, happy to start a day, and to once again share the happiness of  being together.  Every day is a huge blessing, one we are grateful and thankful for.

In the book “the power of kindness” by Piero Ferrucci, he  has 2 lines that stands out for me.  “To remember is to live.  To forget is to die”

In PL we have the 21st precept.  Live in Perfect Liberty.

Today we start another day, I wish you joy, happiness and all that you desire to make it a memorable one.

Till soon Q


my heart!


What started out as a very nice day, time with a friend, finding a stamp I needed for a series of cards I’m working on.  Asked I would have said, life is good.


A short time later, we got a phone call, one that changed the “colour” of the day. A clerk from the hospital, left a message that due to what they saw as a heart problem, the scheduled surgery (coming Tuesday) was cancelled, lots to discuss, please call>?? You can understand, this was a rather startling and disturbing message.


We called back, only to discover, that the young lady, had not really gotten her information all updated and ready to dispense prior to calling.  For months now we have been going for treatments, followed and taken every required tests asked for. Now 5 days away from the 1st surgery, they had found a heart problem. Never had we even had an inkling of a heart problem, not even a murmur of one.   Needless to say, it was not a very quiet inducing conversation.


What we discovered was that, at the time my husband was there for the tests, they should have asked for a cardiologist right then and there to have a look.  With a week-end looming, we are on hold.  That a heart problem would surface over night, is rather puzzling.  Anyway, we wait.


My head tells me that if his entire life, he has not had one symptom, or whisper of a heart problem…then… I have to trust that precaution is important.  this is a very serious, major operation, the positive, is that they are making every effort to cover all bases.

Please join me in prayer and positive thoughts.  His main surgery date of Dec. 13th. is still in place.  There is an urgent request that he been seen as soon as possible. We wait. We pray.    PL Precept #11  Always be with God.


PL Precept # 17  Grasp what is most essential..

PL Precept  # 16  All things progress and develop

PL Precept #18  Each moment is a turning point.

across from Wagner home NY state

Manaus, Brazil

manause Brazil - Amazon Theatre

What brings me to Manaus, Brazil?  A book I picked up because I saw on the back cover that it was about a young girl who travelled to Brazil.  It is one of those “ah” moments when you are wandering down an aisle in a shop and your eye falls on a object, or in this case, a book, and you know you want to see it more closely.

The book is Journey to the River Sea, by Eva Ibbotson.  It was runner up for the Whitbread Children’s Book of the year and the Guardian Fiction Award.  I glanced at it this afternoon, sat down and read it through till the end.   I had not expected to spend the afternoon reading, but that is exactly what I did.

I was transported to a land I know only from various media presentations, the story line, the characters, it was a perfect blend of words presented in such a way that my imagination created the visuals.

manaus brazil amazon rainforest

I was travelling along down the Amazon (the River Sea), seeing where the brown waters of the Amazon joined the black waters of the river Negro.. where soon after the main character saw the green and gold dome of the theatre and church spires.  It was wonderful to be able to totally immerse myself for a short time in the adventure of a young girl, and her friends.

amazon rainforest waterfall

There were no pictures in the book, I found the pictures you see here, on the net. To be a young girl, who due to circumstances is off to live in Brazil, with distant family she has never met… (from England)…. you know… there are many possibilities, the author is skilled at her craft.  I will have to seek out more of  her stories.

PL Precept #17  Grasp what is most essential

The story held me captive for hours. At first I wanted to know what was it, what held my attention, then a thought popped up.. Could it be, my mind needed a rest from the chattering of nonsense and noise that has been whirling around me of late… my husband had his last chemo session today, and soon it will be his last radiation treatment.  Then we rest, and prepare for the surgeries.

PL Precept # 12   Everything  has a way according to its name

PL Precept #7  Everything exists in relativity.

Isn’t life beautiful… PL Precept # 11   Always be with GOD


Thursday -mystery

mystery photo 1

Happy Thursday morning all.

I went to take a picture yesterday of a door.  That was my intention, unfortunately, I drove by, missed the laneway, and could not get back.  It was rush hour in Ottawa, and for some reason, where usually traffic flowing west on this road, is usually pretty good at this time of day, yesterday it wasn’t.  Missed opportunity.  I will go back another time.

Last night, looking for something else, look what I found.  No, no way it is a door, but gall darn, could I figure out what it was.   I know it is familiar.  but it just wouldn’t come to me.  Certainly I was intrigued.

This morning with a new day on the horizon, I had a “bingo” moment.

Here is a second picture the elf in my camera took.

mystery photo 2

How I managed this, I’ll have to ponder on a bit longer.  Does anyone out there, recognized what this is?

Life is full of surprises.  We need only take out our phones sometimes, to discover a whole new world.  For sure we meet new friends  =^_^=   My Chinese name, associates me with the moon, I believe that a “moon spirit” has drifted into my virtual world……

=^_^=  sunshine smiles to everyone today.  May your day be blessed with the happiness and joyful memories that last today, tomorrow and always.



Our thanks to you all for your prayers, and healing thoughts, my husband begins his “treatments” next week, starting on Monday.  23 days of radiation and 5 weeks of chemo.  We appreciate each and everyone of you!



tired takes on new meaning

dragon soft

This was a picture a did a while back.  I titled it, Dragon Soft, you’ve  seen it before shortly after I painted it.  As sometimes happens, I paint something put it away, and don’t look at it again, till doing something else I come across it.

Today we are moving into several weeks into the journey of our cancer voyage.  Each day is a new day, nd every day, I am blessed with the kind words, and messages of friends who remind me that they are holding us in their prayers and sending healing vibes our way.

It is an amazing feeling to know that there is such caring and thoughtfulness surrounding us.  I appreciate it especially when out of the blue, I am struck down with an over-whelming feeling of “tired”.  It is like nothing I’ve ever known, and I really can’t describe it.  Everything just seems to grind to a halt.. and I NEED.. to sit down, close my eyes, and just wait for the moment to pass.

When my husband is out, I find I’m waiting for him to come home, just so I know he is safe.  I know that over the course of the next weeks, even months.. I will be inconsistent with my blog.  I beg your patience.  I am eternally grateful for your continued friendships and support.



When cancer calls

nature bells corners SAWe’ve had some time now to think about and mull over the “visitor” we have in our home.  We didn’t go looking for our house guest, but then I don’t think that many people go in search of inviting cancer into their lives.

I personally have had to think about how I am reacting to (relating) to this visitor.  It is not a welcome guest, but… it is here, and we have to deal with it best we can.  I like to drive down country roads, when I want to think and talk to my “self”  Ottawa is a good place to be, since in almost any direction I go, I can be in country spaces surrounded by green space and untamed vegetation.

nature bells corners SA1There is a hodge podge of this and that.  nothing is planned, it just happens.  A patch of flowers, different shapes, sizes and colours of greens all come together to allow for crickets and critters of various shapes and species to mingle and cross paths.

nature bells corners SA2I’ve decided that cancer just didn’t happen, it found its way in, and was allowed to settle in grow and fester.  Ownership has to be taken for this.  Only in accepting this fact, can we move on and make friends with it.  Find out what it will take for it to go away, and then work faithfully, and with dedicated purpose to ease it out of our lives.

nature bells corners SA3Look carefully, there is a path.  It is hidden if you just glance, but if you take your time and look … you will find a way, a path to follow.  Life is always open to change.  Prayer and faith are the most direct path in our connection/relationship to/with God/Universe.  I believe that whatever the outcome, it will be what is best.

nature bells corners SA4Cancer is a world changer, we are blessed that we found out in time, that it had come into our lives.  Knowing, means that now we can work with the specialists and take the necessary steps to improve our lives, and work positively towards a healthier outlook and lifestyle.

Nature is not stubborn, it is resilient.  Acceptance and grasping the opportunity for change positively, will help us flow with the seasons.

PL Precept # 15  All is a mirror

PL Precept 11  Always be with God

PL Precept #18  Each moment is a turning point.



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