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Posts tagged ‘loss’

Grieving

There is no expiring date on grief….grieving is something that happens and we have no control of how it will affect us or for how long we will live with the emptiness and sense of loss.

Its a door that just never closes… a pain that seeps into every nook and cranny of your being. Just when you think you’ve moved on, when you feel the sun on your face, or a chirping bird sits on your shoulder, yes there is that moment of awe and pleasure, but… it passes… then the shadow slips in, and you feel the burden of the pain, the emptiness of loss.

“Time heals” you hear it time and time again.. yet as the years go by, when you least expect it… a sliver of the cold grief wraps around your heart once again. There is nothing to be done… it will pass. It does, but let me tell you, from the moment the icicle begins to drips its glistening tear, you are engulfed in the hopeless feeling of loss. The shattered pieces of your heart lie like broken shard with edges that are still too sharp to even begin to pick up.

You can’t go back .. you can’t retreat, you can only accept and live through the moment. The more you seek solitude, the more it eludes you. Love that endures, love that wraps its tentacles into forever, is beautiful, but it has a cost. How many moments were squandered, lost to foolish pride/ego. The seasons will change. and yes, you will get by, you will live another day… But oh… how crippling the grief is when it comes to call.

Make today a memorable day. Let’s try to put our whole heart into whatever we say or do, as our unique signature.

Perfect Liberty 2022. 26
Oyashikiri

Memories

May peace be with you always

Oyashikiri

life is art

I awoke and still you were gone

no more we, just me

there are days when the fog is so dense

so enveloping, I remind myself you are at rest

then do what I can, to do my best – Q

Live each day filled with hope, Even in those situations when you feel trapped with no way out, face every challenge with purpose and enthusiasm and you will always find a way.

Perfect Liberty 2, 2019

Oyashikiri

meaning – loss

2015b

What??  I don’t know, back in 2015 I saw this photo and was intrigued at what it was, what it meant, where it came from.  If I found out, I didn’t record it, so in my files this is what I found, now Feb. 24. 2019

Doing a tidy up, I found a card a group of friends sent me when my husband passed away, “on the loss of your husband”  Store bought, from the American Greeting co. in the States, I reread the message.

“They say life goes on just give yourself time to mourn, and accept and to heal,  Though none of that offers much comfort right now with the sorrow and loss you must feel…  but, there in your heart where you miss him the most where friendship and love never cease, somehow you know that he’d  want nothing more than to see you find comfort and peace”         

As I digested the words of sympathy my friends had sent me, my eyes fell on today’s PL calendar, for day 24

Things that happen to us all have a meaning

Everything that happens to us happens for a reason.  Each and every occurrence is a chance for you to improve yourself.

It is with gratitude that I start my day, and appreciation for you my friends who keep in touch, drop in,  the distance, the miles, time zones, disappear, when I say I appreciate each and every one of you.  I do.  My heart sings with joy when you say hi…  the like button, the thoughtful hellos, and cheerful input,  the nudge now and then, all blessings.

“I have walked that long road to freedom.  I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way.  But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. ” Nelson Mandela

We are all ONE with the Universe

Oyashikiri

 

pause pushed

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I stepped out of the car the other day, without moving, I was lost

Sometimes it happens, without knowing it, I somehow pushed pause

so while the rest if the world drives by, children play, and daylight fades away

meanwhile, I am in pause mode, and here I will stay

Till reality and memories catch up, to my odyssey in space

Wakefield 3

no mistake, what is, is.

Oyashikiri

one can never go back.

and then- sorrow

roses 6.22.17 PA

the wind blew

rain fell

still my heart

simply lay

like a heavy stone

the light had gone

the sun no longer shone

I was not alone

yet I know

I am still

mourning

and nothing

can be done

till the moment comes

that tears are done

you gave unconditional love

now you soar above the clouds

your wings the brilliance of stars

I miss your earthly presence

but for you, free of pain

and earthly ties

you are now free

you will always be

the forever angel in my heart

Oyashikiri

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gave meaning to the word love

always my sunshine and light!

 

Grunge art my way

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Good morning everyone.    For a little while now I have been playing with different media, doing some of this and some of that.  This all started when I began doing handmade cards for our church (Church of Perfect Liberty) (institucion Religiosa perfecta libertad)

The first Precept (1 of 21)   #1  Life is Art    This is not about how you paint or draw, but rather how you use your creative expression to get through the day to day challenges of life.  How you see the opportunities that come your way and in accepting them, being able to grow and channel new found energy into your daily life.


 

. I love life, I love being alive, and the sense of wonder I get from even what most could consider a mundane moment.  Death is a by-product of life.  It happens.  When you lose someone who has been a part of your life, there is a sadness and a feeling of loss. However, if you have lived loving and cherishing the person, there are no regrets.  You live forming honest interactions – always – some people you connect with instantly  and with others..  it can take a long time, or… it just never happens.

Important here, is to be true to yourself, not someone else’s expectations, or how other’s want you to act or do something.  This is a concept not everyone understands, or appreciates.  Again, we all have  to live with our SELVES…  To do something we like means to follow one’s instincts and do and use whatever makes it happen.

The above picture is a card that I did for ME.  Not to put in the collection of cards at the church for sale, but for ME.  My wise little sister once said.. remember you are making cards to sell, that means you have to make cards that people will want and like.  Not her exact wording, but you get the drift.  She was right.  Handmade cards or any other craft, where you put your personal time and energy into creating or making something is a balancing act.

The “Artisan” “Craft” person can spend hours even months making something creating a piece they love, yet find that putting a “retail” value on it, is very difficult.  Many people simply do not want to pay for something that they feel they can get at a dollar store.. the fact that what they are getting in these places is manufactured and basically are made in the 1000s, doesn’t matter.  -” To each his/her own”

Because we are a throw away society, what is IN now , may not be in a couple of months or years..  I digress…oh dear… bottom line… we will skip the rest of this for now.. I’m sure it will crop up again =^_^=

Back to the picture.  I hadn’t picked up a paint brush in years. I mean yearS.  When I did, I found that I didn’t want to put it down.  I have been trying for a distressed look on the cards, using inks, pencils and markers… but never felt I got the results I really wanted. At times not even close.

I had my own idea, or image in my head, it just wasn’t happening with the tools I had.. BUT when I took brush in hand, and some inexpensive water colours I found on sale.. POP, SHZAMMMM, I loved what I was seeing.  Best of all the cartoon characters that I discovered in a shop in Montreal, Scrapbook Centrale, made me smile.. It was a new line for me, PaperArtsy.. you can find more about them at http://www.paperartsy.co.uk

I am letting go of what I think other’s may want, and maintaining my own sense of wacky, wild and wonderful.. I got up this morning and tweaked the card some more. It is fun fun fun.

PL Precept # 2    To Live Is to Express One’s Self

Oyashikiri

Artist Loft 4 n1 brush – Michaels ** multi functional great value

Cardstock – watercolour 130 lb. Strathmore

Artist Loft – basic 24 colour pallet – Michaels

Prang – oval 16           DeSerres

Yasuyomo – mettalics (16)     DeSerres

Deep in the forest

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Somewhere deep in the forest, the sound of suppressed weeping drifted with heartbreaking moans that left the little elf restless and frustrated.  He wanted to help, he wanted to fly across the glen and offer his help.  Sadly he knew, that the little maiden in such utter  distress, had to let her sadness flow, let the grief that had over taken her, run its course.

Sometimes in life, we can hear the pain in a friend’s voice, or see the sadness in their eyes.  We want to shout out or  do something to make that pain go away.  It is so hard to watch a friend suffer through their silent agony. A void, a memory, a shattering grief for what was, or could have been.

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Some willingly give their hearts, only to find that the person that they trusted and believed in, was merely a “mistress” of their own making.  It is so easy to build a life (storyline) around what we seek, and want in another person, that in doing so, we are blind to the person they really are.

No one is at fault.  People live being who they are,  If others build a fantasy around us, that is their journey, not ours.

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In TAO/ life nothing is as simple or linear that what we see is what IS.  A tree started out as a seed, the seed had to die to give birth to the shoot that will grow into a tree.  We might look out over the vast expanse of ocean, with wonder and awe .. do we at the same time,  see the total depth and breadth of the ocean from our vantage point…. no…we do not.

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We do not live in a bubble.  But it is easy for some to try to build walls, the deny others access to who we  really are.

Just keep in mind, if are only presenting a portion of YOU, then you can’t expect the other person to respond in a manner that will speak to ALL of YOU

If we don’t know what we want, it is difficult to expect someone else to.

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The crying had stopped, the world was silent, the population in the glen had resumed their comings and goings. the little elf, gathered up a small bouquet and headed out to visit his friend.  Time for a  hug.  =^_^=  there is a time and place for everything.

Namaste      –      Oyashikiri

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  • cuded.com (art by sylphielmetallium)
  • imoyat.deviantart.com (forgotten by ellixus)

Hey how is it going?

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how you doing my friend

its been awhile

I got to thinking the other day

of the times we had back when

we had time to play

remember those lazy days

at the lake,

we had so much fun didn’t we

our world was so full of adventure

the discoveries were amazing

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What happened to the fairgrounds

and all the dreams we had

how is the family, especially your Dad

remember how he used to joke around with us

does your Mom still makes those awesome pies

d824924a147f607abcde32f32f27f144Those early morning

boat rides, especially

if we got to take the canoe

how well I remember the

calm and the thrill of it all

gosh, was it really so very long ago!

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I know we can’t go back, the sands of time are slowly shifting.  R.I.P. my friend, say hello to family and friends you meet on your new journey. I’ll see you soon, meanwhile know you are forever in my heart.

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Live today

make it count

Namaste     –     Oyashikiri

the ticking of a clock

Loss and grief, at some time in our lives, we all come face to face with the pain of loss….   we feel engulfed in a sadness that reverberates in every miniscule part of our BEing.  No words seem to penetrate into the core of the void.  Vince Gill wrote the above song when his brother passed away, from his grief came a beautiful song that will be enjoyed for years to come..

Music is a universal language it has a voice/meaning for anyone who is open to the message.  Interestingly the message/what is heard, may not have anything at all to do with the lyrics.  I’ve seen myself how music will affect someone, and yet when asked how they liked the song, they heard only the music.  In other instances I’ve heard people diss a song because of the words, they picked up on, their thought process never got past the words,  At one time I wanted to share, so I tried to explain or have the person see or hear what I was hearing. didn’t work.   We are all unique, just as no two people will interpret a dance the same way, each of us will respond in our own way to the ticking of a clock…

Just got a new clock (to me) I bought it because it looks like a retro old plastic radio clock of the 50’s/60’s, it ticks… all the other clocks in the house are quiet, i.e. on the computer. or are electric.  There is something to be said about the rhythm of a ticking clock….  life is like a clock, it moves along a tick at a time, tick,toc, the seconds pass by.  It is amazing how quickly life is given and/or taken away.

We grow by overcoming obstacles, one by one, tick, toc….   tick..toc.. Sometimes we feel that we are like a rock, we are going nowhere, we don’t see the sunshine, nor do we feel the rain, we exist.  In PL we believe that we are alive, rain or shine, life is for living, we know sadness because we have been happy, the joy and passion of life is all around us, we need only move on to the next second on the clock.  Trust in God, Believe, let go of what you think happiness is,  enjoy the life that is yours and in you.  Problems/challenges are opportunities.

 

Namaste    – Oyashikiri

 

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